#but lets not forget she still has horrible beliefs!!!

[fundielicious-simblr]

maggiecwright

This is ✨27 ✨🎂

[friendly-neighbourhood-wet-cat]

Guys what if I did a thing.

Biker!Red and Rich Girl!Chloe au

TW just in case: Implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced gun violence, minor descriptions of injuries.

-

The Isle and Auradon are two neighbourhoods, separated because Auradon's mayor, Beast, doesn't trust a single person in the Isle.

Chloe is a part of the Charming Family, owners of the most successful company in Auradon. However, she doesn't want to be. She loathes the idea of everyone treating her like a dumb little rich girl who isn't capable of taking care of herself.

So, she sneaks out.

She secretly goes to parties in the Isle almost every night, craving the adrenaline rush that comes with disobeying her parents. But one night, Chloe gets a Iittle too bold.

She drinks too much, and before she could even blink, some random dude was pinning her to the wall of a secluded hallway, and touching her a little too confidently.

Enter Red.

She has been here for a whole excruciating hour, pointedly avoiding her mother while also working out a money deal for her. She was waiting for the guy to come when she heard a hushed argument coming from a nearby hallway.

As soon as she sees what's going on, Red threatens the guy to let go, and he only does so when she flashes the revolver tucked in her pants.

All Chloe can do is stare up at her saviour as she asks if she's okay, too drunk and gay to say anything. Chloe calls her brother, Chad, to pick her up since he's the only person who knows about her nightly endeavours.

The two talk for a bit, and Chloe finds out that maybe she isn't as educated on the world as she thought she was.

She finds out that everyone in the Isle is suffering, whether it be horrible living conditions, gun violence, abusive home situations, or anything else.

As the mysterious (and very attractive) biker walks away, she recognises the symbol on the back of her black leather jacket.

The Wonderland Gang.

An infamous biker gang that meddled in illegal activities, but the cops were too scared of them to do anything.

Red's mother, Bridget, was the leader is this gang, known by everyone else as the Queen of Hearts.

Contrary to popular belief, Bridget was actually a good mother. She and Red just didn't see eye to eye on most things, and then there was also the responsibility of keeping up their reputation.

Chloe didn't dare tell her parents about her encounter with the biker, knowing they would most likely never let her out of the house again. So, she simply tried to forget about it.

That didn't work, obviously.

She kept having dreams about the girl, it seemed like she couldn't get her out of her head. Her brother was too smug as he watched her fall apart, knowing exactly how uselessly gay his sister was.

A painful week later, as she was walking home from another night out, her wishes were answered.

She heard someone coughing in an alleyway. The coughs sounded like a wet gurgle, making Chloe sick to her stomach. She looked for the person frantically, and eventually found them slumped over a dumpster.

Lo and behold, it was her.

Her face was badly bruised, and with the way she held herself, Chloe guessed her ribs were, too.

She immediately got her out of the alley, and walked her to her house. Initially, her parents were hesitant, but after seeing the state Red was in, they knew she needed help.

Red woke up the next day in Chloe's bed, panicked and wary.

Chloe calmed her down and explained the situation, to which Red replied that she had to go or her mother would kill her.

Chloe didn't want to let her go - whether it was because she was still injured, or because she simply liked her presence, she didn't know - but Red couldn't be stopped. As she was about to hop out of the window and climb down to the ground, she gave Chloe one last look.

"The name's Red, by the way."

-

Aaaand, that's all I got! Obviously, I'm not guaranteeing that I'm gonna write this, since school is starting very soon, but if enough people beg me, I might try something. Hope you enjoyed this!

[identityflawed]

i really appreciate that DEXTER has gotten a surge of appreciation and love since it’s been added back to netflix. i’ve been a fan of the show for six years now! i always get disappointed, however, by the demographic of men who choose to watch the show with the same sort of ignorant mindset that they consume all other media with. dexter is by no means a perfect show — sometimes the plot is a slog and the characters are dumb, and the show takes an unfortunate fall-off as the writers lose the core idea of dexter’s character — but it’s worth paying attention to because the characters are very human and real, other than dexter. that’s the point of it all: that he’s surrounded by individuals who are flawed and complex and complicated and angry in their own ways, as close to violence as he’s always been, dancing on the edges of their own knives. they make bad decisions in the name of their moral codes and beliefs, just as he does. his own connection to what makes people human is faded and invisible to him, but he is in fact, human. his act of killing is vengeful and is of his father’s orders, and the sins of the father are pervasive in the show, time and time again. you are ultimately what your parents make you until you choose to try and change. he was a traumatized child who was supposedly young enough to forget what happened to him in that shipping container, but harry still raised him to be a killer.

i feel a lot of vehemence towards fans who dislike deb because they think she’s a bop, or she sleeps around, or she’s over-emotional, or a pick me. she’s more tragic than dexter. forgotten by her own biological father because harry wanted a gun to point at criminals that the justice system let go, and saw that in dexter when she wanted him to see it in her, too. she wanted to be anything that her dad wanted and she never got to do that; and more than that, she loved her father more intensely than dexter did — and she loves everything more intensely — and hates that for all her love and affection and desperation, the adopted son who is so kind to her still got what she wanted more than anything. she’s tragic because everything she did was to make her dad proud of her, and he died before he could ever see it. harry was a horrible father to both of them, but she sought him out in every man she loved. and she kept losing them, too. her resentment for herself and her hatred of her life choices is so profound that we see her hurting herself frequently — tossing medication after injuries, drinking, working out obsessively, turning down people’s help just so she can wallow and hate herself — in any way that still lets her feel like she’s strong and not weak. and then she projects these ideas on dexter when she’s furious, because she’s always been jealous of him. she’s gone further than he has and with less years behind her, but she’s not religious enough to believe her father’s ghost is looking down at her with a smile. she doesn’t even get dexter’s privilege of hallucinating his pride, because how can you visualize something you’ve never even had?

the supporting cast of dexter is all complex and strange. masuka cracks perverted jokes all the time because he likes being funny and it lightens the gruesome mood, but then gets worried when he realizes maybe his humor undermines his intelligence or how much he cares for the people around him. joey’s a hardliner and a dirty cop who gets himself into trouble for his love of money and comfort, but it’s paired with his determination to protect and avenge the people he loves — and he loves very easily, and hates very easily. angel is a good cop and a good friend who can’t put parameters on his love because he’s antsy, and a free spirit in the worst of ways because being devoted to any one thing forever seems to scare him, because in the past he’s fumbled everything he tries, so he wants to leave an out for himself in everything he does. rita is a recovering abuse victim who offers more kindness to dexter than she should because there’s a part of her that’s afraid she’ll lose the only man her kids have felt safe around, and the only man who seems to respect her and defend her. she gives more than she thinks she’ll receive — placating gestures, forgiving him and waiting patiently for him to repair his mistakes — because some part of her is grateful for any small kindness the world can give her. laguerta is a woman who fought tooth and nail for the power she finally received in an environment that doesn’t treat people of her color or her sex well enough, and would do anything to keep it even if it means stepping on the toes of others, because she doesn’t want to lose it and spend her whole life regretting things. she hates regret, hates hesitation, hates anything that your average male cop does but has to hate it in a different way because aggression is not something well-appreciated in women for the time. she must be pretty and efficient and political; she is not afforded the privilege that everyone else has of being morally forward. doakes was a military man who suffered severe PTSD from his tours and went into the police force because it was the only place he felt like he was channeling himself right, with moral superiority that he had to give himself. like dexter, he would kill those he saw as irredeemably evil, and couldn’t stomach the thought of being around dexter because it’s like looking in the mirror but not knowing why the reflection is so clear. he couldn’t understand where dexter had been to put the look in his eyes that doakes always woke up to, and that made him antsy. his determination to find answers and clear-cut his entire existence into good and evil after a life of morally grey smudges caused his entire postmortem reputation to be a morally grey smudge. there are more: christine hill, frank lundy, arthur mitchell, paul bennett, even astor and cody, miguel prado, to an extent. you can’t love or hate any of them. dexter is a show that reexamines the complexity of humanity from the eyes of a man who doesn’t think he’s human at all.

i think the final two seasons of dexter were a waste. i think what they did for his final love interest and for his ending were destructive to that message. i don’t think he deserved a happy ending, but dexter is indeed a tragedy. i hope that Resurrection ends with him in an electric chair, mirroring the fear harry had for him in childhood, because there isn’t any real escape for a man like him. after the season four finale, his humanity swelled in season 5 and 6 and then died in seasons 7 and 8, and then twisted about in new blood, in some inverted idea of the five stages of grief. well-handled. dexter is his own destructive force because he feels so far removed from society — as most serial killers do — that he destroys the people around him who think he’s close enough to touch their own hearts and then tear them open. and that’s sad, because it’s all the sins of the father and an unstoppable cycle.

the writers don’t get any more self aware than they do in 4x7 “hungry man” when trinity’s daughter mentions aeschylus in passing — the father of tragedy. and indeed that’s what it closes out to. aeschylus’ plays mirror things displayed in dexter. so fascinating and wildly off-topic. but give it a look.

[howtonerdoutovereverything]

Fairly Oddparents: A New Wish Season 2 Predictions

OK, OK, OK, I know this topic has probably been discussed to death, but considering I'm new around these parts, and also considering I've been thinking about this for literal weeks, I figured I’d just spill all my thoughts out. If I forget anything or if I think of new stuff, I’ll just reblog this post and add it.

Anyways, let’s start by looking directly at the end of the Season 1 Finale.

Hazel’s friends (and brother) now know about the existence of fairies

So this is probably the biggest thing to come out of the finale. With her one rule-free wish, Hazel wishes that her friends (and brother) can keep their memories of the craziness that just transpired, meaning they now know about the existence of fairies and the fact that she has fairy godparents. This has the potential to open up a lot of interesting dynamics.

Seeing Hazel and Dev interact after they found out about each others’ fairy godparents in Battle of the Dimmsonian was so fun, as it’s not a dynamic we’ve seen a lot of throughout this franchise (at least to my understanding; I haven’t watched the OG show in a LOOOONG time). So now that the group of people “in the know” has expanded, and considering they all have a much different relationship with Hazel than Dev, a ton of wacky shenanigans could ensue. For example, Hazel and Antony now both have to keep Cosmo and Wanda’s (and I guess also Peri’s) existence a secret from their parents, which I can definitely imagine being used for gags. Also, I’m sure Jasmine, Winn, and Antony are going to want the fairies to grant wishes for them, meaning they’ll have to ask Hazel to make those wishes. I can totally see an episode where Hazel is constantly making wishes and gets super exhausted/frustrated. But in general, I think that the fact that Hazel doesn’t have to keep her fairies a secret anymore means that her friends can be involved in more episodes, or at least be involved in a more significant way. Jasmine and Winn, while being great characters, definitely deserve more development. Perhaps we could meet their families. And with Antony, perhaps we could meet his girlfriend?

But if we’re going to talk about friends, there’s one person in particular we have to bring up…

Dev Dimmadome (and all of his shit)

So…here’s the thing. Dev 100% remembers everything that went down in the finale. I know this is a fairly common theory and people have been discussing it, but just in case you’re out of the loop, here’s why I think this is the case.

When Hazel makes her rule-free wish to Jorgen, she specifies that she wants her “friends” to remember the events of the finale. And while, in the moment, she’s definitely thinking about Jasmine, Winn, and Antony, it’s made clear throughout the past few episodes (specifically in Best of Luck, if I remember correctly) that she still considers Dev a friend despite all the disagreements they’ve had. She even spells out in Lost and Founder’s Day that friends can have arguments and still be friends, so unless that belief of hers has radically changed (which I doubt), it would make sense if Dev ended up getting lumped into the wish purely because she still views him as a friend. As others have pointed out, this could explain why Jorgen freaked out so heavily when Hazel made her wish. Why would he react like that if there wasn’t going to be some big consequence?

And speaking of big consequences, I think Dev remembering his attempt to take over Fairy World and the loss of Peri as his godparent is going to have a big impact on him and affect the direction in which his character arc goes. At the end of the finale right before Hazel makes her wish, Dev straight up says that he thinks he deserves his punishment, and seems extremely dejected. The weight of his actions is clearly affecting him, and when you add on his realization that the fairy godparent he treated so horribly still cared about him even when he was on the verge of death BECAUSE OF THAT MISTREATMENT, I feel like Dev is going to be starting off the season in a pretty bad place.

I feel like for the first episode or so, Dev is going to be wallowing in his regret and just generally feeling like trash, but not knowing how to deal with it. He knows what he did is wrong, and seems convinced that Hazel isn’t going to forgive him or that it isn’t worth pursuing a friendship with her any further. Hazel will probably notice this and attempt to talk to him, as she’s not used to seeing him like this (and also is probably assuming that his memory being wiped would mean that he’d be “back to normal”, because remember, she doesn’t know he remembers). Dev will keep avoiding her, some shenanigans will happen that force them to come together, and Hazel will push Dev into admitting what’s wrong. He’ll finally spill that he remembers what he did and feels horrible about it and there will be some sort of reconciliation (I imagine Hazel saying that she doesn’t fully forgive him, but doesn’t want to see him be miserable because, at the end of the day, she’s still his friend and wants him to be better). This will set the two of them off on a good note for the rest of the season.

But that doesn’t mean that everything will be fine and dandy with Dev…

Peri’s role

So given the fact that Peri has swiftly become the fan-favorite character of this series, I have a feeling that, if Season 2 is greenlit, the team behind the show will want to give him a more prominent role than he had in Season 1. I remember being a bit disappointed that we didn’t get as much of him in the show as I was expecting, but then again, I doubt the team could’ve anticipated just how popular Peri became.

With that being said, let’s consider where Peri is right now. He’s just lost his first-ever godkid, whom he cared about despite the fact that he wasn’t very appreciative of him. Given that Peri was very clearly trying to prove something through his godparenting of Dev (mostly that he could “make it on his own”), losing him is going to absolutely DEVASTATE HIM. I can picture him crashing in his parents’ apartment, crying on the couch while eating ice cream and having absolutely no self-confidence. But I can also see him attempting to secretly help out Dev even though he’s not his godparent anymore. I’ve seen plenty of artwork of Peri disguised as a babysitter that Dale hires, and I think that would be a great way to get more Peri and Dev interactions as well as provide a fun twist on Timmy and Vicky’s dynamic from the OG show. Dev will likely be a bit conflicted by Peri’s attempts to help him out, and I can see an episode of them sort of reconciling. Given that there was originally going to be an episode centered around them in Season 1 that got scrapped, this could be a good way to reuse that old idea. Plus, if I’m honest, I just want to see Peri’s human design.

Plus, having Peri essentially go undercover at Dev’s place will give us an opportunity to check in on a certain character…

Dale and Project H (and the Pixies…?)

Ah, yes, everyone’s favorite bastard and terrible father, Dale Dimmadome. The last time we saw him (besides the finale), he was obsessing over Project H, AKA his attempt to figure out why Hazel didn’t buy anything on Founder’s Day. We saw Cosmo and Wanda essentially (and inadvertently) feed Dale the answer he was looking for: Hazel has fairies and therefore doesn’t need to buy things. When Dale inevitably discovers this, we know there’s gonna be a plan that involves fairies somehow. But what?

Personally, I think the most likely answer is that Dale is going to want to utilize fairy magic in some way so he can essentially play genie and bring himself more fame and esteem. Or perhaps he’ll create some uber-expensive device that allows people to wish for things, but the catch is that people have to pay in order to make wishes. Given how powerful fairy magic can be, I can see this being super successful, and Hazel, Dev, and their friends will need to find a way to rescue the fairies who have been kidnapped and had their magic taken (including Cosmo, Wanda, and Peri). However, there’s another wrinkle that I think could also be interesting and possibly a bit more unique…

So originally, according to the series bible, the Season 1 finale was going to involve Dale teaming up with the Pixies. Given that the Pixies are very business-focused, Dale would likely get along with them and be willing to team up with them in order to satisfy his greed. They could easily reuse this concept for the Season 2 finale, as the Pixies seem like an interesting and fun group of villains to have the gang go up against. Plus they would probably pose a formidable threat and invite some creative scenarios and solutions in order to defeat.

There’s also one more possibility I want to discuss in regards to potential villains and season-long arcs…

The Galax Institute

In “Crock to the Future”, we’re introduced to the Galax Institute, where Hazel’s father works. It’s revealed that A.J. is currently the head of the institute, and Crocker has been attempting to land a position there. We know that the Galax Institute studies paranormal phenomena, and it’s hinted at in the first episode that fairy magic could very well be one of those things. This could potentially be a great set-up for a season-long conflict.

I feel like A.J. being the main villain of this season would be a really fun twist. He doesn’t even have to be a mustache-twirling villain or super conniving, but having him serve more as just an inconvenient and unknowing antagonist would be interesting. He could be leading an effort to study increased supernatural activity in Dimmadelphia, and after finding out that a good amount of it is centered near the Wells residence, he could assign Marcus to investigate. Hazel and Antony would then have to try and hide Cosmo and Wanda from their dad and find a way to stop the Galax Institute from learning about the existence of fairies. Having Marcus technically be on the side of the “bad guys” could lead to some really interesting dynamics. Hazel might have to eventually tell her dad about her fairies in an effort to get him to help her protect them from the Galax Institute wanting to kidnap and study them. And considering Dale will likely still be playing a large antagonist role, perhaps he could be funding the Galax Institute’s research after taking part in a board meeting with them and noticing similarities between the phenomena they’re describing and what he’s found out during Project H. This could lead to some more complex conflicts that would be really fun to watch unfold.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s about it for now! Feel free to share any of your thoughts/predictions with me, as I’d love to discuss possibilities for this season!

Oh, and most importantly: STREAM THIS SHOW WHEN IT COMES OUT ON STREAMING SO WE CAN GET A SEASON 2

[ashuzu44]

my ex gf posted a pic of me on tiktok to make fun of me since I looked horrible in that picture to the point that if someone saw it they would ask how I'm still alive with this face, and that tiktok went viral and got over 40k views..also people in the comment section mocked me and made fun of the way I look.. :/ she knows I'm insecure that's why she has done that and now I literally don't even want to go out cause I think all the things the ppl have said about my look is right..I can't even use loa atp I can't get out of this, a lot of people have already seen me and made fun of me. I've been trying to manifest my df for 4 years but nothing has changed. I just need help

Hi, sending love firstly and also im extremely sorry to hear that people have actually have the audacity to ask and say such things ˙ ✩°˖🫐 ⋆｡˚꩜

I'll try to help my best I can, so if the way I put things come off as insensitive please note that that isn't my intention.

"I think all the things the ppl have said about my look is right." - Do you want them to be right? My assumption is of course you don't want them to be right. Why would you?

"I've been trying to manifest my df for 4 years but nothing has changed." - How have you been trying? Let me say something, if nothing has changed in the past 4 years then its time to dig a little deeper. No more surface level "ill affirm". It's time to go into yourself, your beliefs and what do you think about yourself. Do you think you don't look good? We need to start attack that first and change that cause no way in heck are we taking that belief and say bye- bye.

"she knows I'm insecure that's why she has done that"- People can be assholes, absolute dickheads. Insecurity is what we need to touch on. I won't say stop being insecure, of course but how? Well firstly, lets try and understand why. Why are you insecure and then change that reasoning.

I know its going to be hard and painful, but changing deep rooted beliefs is the first step. Don't worry about the time, forget that doesn't exist. Take a deep breath, take a step back and break the way you're going to tackle this step by step. Loa works, it has no choice but to because it runs throughout our lives till we die. It has just been given terminology when it is a concept. It will work. Trust me and more importantly have the grit and determination that YOU HAVE your df. You have it, tell that to yourself NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE IN THIS WORLD SAYS. Because you are the operant power and no one else knows you and can control your decisions.

Hope I could help! Take care <3

xoxo, karina

[sapphire-weapon]

Leon, in the intro to RE4make:

"September 30, 1998. It's a day I'll never forget. The cop inside me died that day."

---

Officer 1: So, tell me, Yanqui. Why did you come to this horrible place? As close to nowhere as I've ever seen.

Leon: Let's just say... looking for someone.

Officer 1: That someone must be very important, eh? The Chief gave the orders himself. "Help him," he said.

Leon: I'm sure you boys didn't come all the way out here to roast marshmallows.

Officers 1 & 2: (laugh)

Leon: (annoyed) Maybe you did.

Officer 1: You have a strange sense of humor. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Just between us. A lot of people have gone missing around here, and it's been that way for a while, now.

Leon: (still annoyed) Well, then. Should be just another day in the office, right?

Officer 1: Mmm... I mean, last week, there was a search for some missing hikers.

Leon: (sarcastically) I'm sure you'll do your best to help me.

Officer 1: (laughs)

[...]

Leon, much later in the scene: So much for helping me.

---

Leon, later in chapter 1:

(bitterly) "Gotta fix everything myself."

---

Leon tells Ada in RE2make that the reason why he went into law enforcement was to help people like Kendo and his daughter -- vulnerable people, good people, members of the community who are facing the worst moments of their life and need someone to help make it right.

And yet he says in the intro to RE4make that the cop inside him died that day. When we take that in context with what he told Ada about Kendo, what he means is that his desire to help people died that day. The belief that he could help people died that day.

His faith in humanity died that day.

Leon goes into his mission to save Ashley already expecting the two local officers that he's with to be completely fucking useless, and he gets immediately annoyed at the first hint that they are. His "So much for helping me" is said with a sense of "Why am I not surprised?"

He went into RE2make believing that people are generally good and that things will work themselves out.

He goes into RE4make believing that people are generally selfish and will take advantage of him, leaving him to work through any problem that arises on his own.

This is why he's so supremely pissed off at Ada when they meet back up again, and it's also why Ashley is so integral to his character arc. It's also why I've said in the past that Ada is a foil for Ashley in RE4make.

(NOTE: A foil is a character that is set up in the narrative to directly contrast with another one. Where one character is deficient, the foil character is strong, and vice versa. Where Ada is cold, Ashley is warm. Where Ada is physically capable, Ashley is defenseless. Where Ada is secretive, Ashley is honest. Where Ada is calculating, Ashley is impulsive. A foil does not necessarily exist to make one character seem better than the other; a foil exists to showcase two equals using a different approach and receiving different outcomes as a result.)

Ada is the genesis of Leon's cynicism. She's the reason why he expects less than nothing from people anymore -- the reason why he goes into every social interaction waiting to be screwed over. And she reinforces this throughout the narrative by trying to tear him down ("Leave the girl. She's lost no matter what.") or by keeping score ("Happy to help. Now you owe me.") -- which she takes even further in Separate Ways ("Don't worry, Leon. First time's free.").

In the six years since her initial betrayal, Leon has been forged into a weapon by the US government. The kind-hearted boy from RE2make who wanted to save the world now is more comfortable shoving a knife in the throat of an old woman than he is with carrying on small talk with people.

But weapons on their own are neither good nor bad. It's how they're used that determines that. Up until RE4make, Leon has been surrounded by extreme violence and senseless death (that's the point of changing Operation Javier btw), and he doesn't see a way in which his status as a weapon could possibly be used for good.

Until Ashley comes into his life.

If there was ever anyone who had a good reason to take Leon for granted and take advantage of him, it's Ashley -- but not only does she not do that, but she goes out of her way to make herself useful without expectation or strings attached. The only thing she ever asks for in return is a "thank you."

So, every time she gets that "thank you" -- every time she gets a real smile out of him -- she's returning pieces of his humanity to him. She's healing the hurts that Ada and the CIA inflicted on him so many years ago. She's showing him that there's still some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for. She's worth fighting for.

When Leon says: "This time, it has to be different..." he's not talking about his inability to save anyone in Raccoon City. That's a very surface-level interpretation. What he's referring to there is that Raccoon City destroyed his faith in humanity, ruined his image of himself, and poisoned his ability to create meaningful connections with people.

That's what has to be different this time. That's why the full line he says in the intro is: "If I could just forget what happened that night... the pain, even for a second... This time, it can be different. It has to."

RE2make took so much from him, but Ashley spent the entirety of RE4make giving so much of it back. But if she were to die in his arms in chapter 15, that hope and that healing would die with her. Her death would be a reaffirmation that everything that Leon wants or hopes for in this world isn't real, and that reality is nothing more than a series of random tragedies and chaos that results in suffering.

Ashley re-teaches him how to trust in people again, how to work as part of a team again, how to feel good about his own actions again. She teaches him how to hope again.

Ashley is the first person in six years to care about whether Leon gets or feels hurt by her actions. The most important line of dialogue spoken to Leon in the entire game is "Stay back! I might hurt you again..." as Ashley openly sobs over the mere thought of it.

Juxtapose that beside...

During the boat scene, Ada asks Leon in response to whether or not she's changed, after all of the damage she's already inflicted on him: "What do you think? Don't think too hard."

And so, in the ending, Leon answers: "I think we both know that this is where we go our separate ways."

Because, this time, things were different.

Because, this time, his partner was Ashley.

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

I'm very scatterbrained today, so please excuse the multiple topic changes. 😅

The Sky angst WIP is in progress, and I accidentally started a new WIP that is Hyrule angst. I think pretty much all the Hyrule angst I've read takes place in forest regions, so naturally I had to take it upon myself to write something that happens in The Great Sea. Legend is not the only one who deserves island-related trauma.

Still thinking about the academia AU, too. Sun has a bachelors degree in aviation, like Sky (it's how they met) and one in religious studies. She's decided to get her graduate degree in religious studies and may or may not have a side gig with Sky flying little bitty planes for a tourist place because they're both crazy and think they can somehow fit that into their schedules.

LU EAH AU is still in progress! It's just going very, very slowly, and I need to remember to review some of my source material because I keep forgetting to do that. I also need to finish up the fic about Fi's backstory and figure out a cool title for it. The AU itself will likely be Linked Ever After unless I think of something cooler.

Also, I was writing a scene with Legend & Sky and needed to do some quick fact-checking and recipe-searching and DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE THAT'S MADE OUT OF HORSE MILK!?

Anyway, the scene in question is another attempt at letting Legend be soft and chill because he is Too Old for This Shit. The actual recipe I ended up using was basically warm milk with pumpkin pie spices and maple syrup because Legend just gives off warm milk vibes. He knows what works, and he's going to do it, and if anyone tries to give him grief over it, he'll just smack them right good.

Side tangent: as much as I want to say that Warriors is the best with self-care, I think it's really more Legend's thing. Time also looks like he has everything together, but he is totally panicking and masking (pun intended) 24/7 with rare exceptions. Legend is the one who's had enough of this shit and figured out what does and doesn't actually help his physical and mental health. He's obviously not perfect at it, but he's the closest to an actual role model most of them have, just because he's trying to live his best life (partly out of spite).

Warriors is still the one who drags Twilight to therapy, though.

i so desperately needed the daily brainrot, i caught this 35 seconds after it appeared in my asks

You’re so real for that. I have a Hyrule angst wip in my drafts somewhere titled ‘Hyrule Drowns’… I don’t- I don’t think I have to explain further (he doesn’t DIE but I AM gonna throw him in a lake. Shoutout to @/carelessapples for this one because if I remember correctly, this was sort of their idea/i am writing it for them)

I LOVE THAT SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

LINKED EVER AFTER. 10/10, I LOVE IT. I’m so excited for that au, but take ur time man. I know it’ll be awesome

THERES A FUCKING WHAT NOW??? (and yeah Legend DOES give off warm milk vibes)

Oh yeah no, Time is masking most of the time bro does NOT have it together like, at all, I so agree. I love the idea of Wars just DRAGGING Twi to therapy kicking and screaming. Legend definitely has things figured out by now, though I am of the personal belief that he’s horrible at explaining it to the others and helping THEM with stuff. I headcanon he’s better at self care for himself than helping the others take care of themselves but he’s doin’ his best 😔

[maeljade]

Character lore poll

I am cooking an OC and my brain has come up with two possible variations of lore and cant decide so I am outsourcing it to Tumblr! Here's the OC, Jade!

And here's the poll, answer based on vibes or full information with Dawntrail spoilers below the cut!

And now under the cut the full lore. Once again, spoilers for themes of Shadowbringers +, things that happened in Endwalker and the entire second half of Dawntrail! Consider yourself warned.

As should be easily visible from the picture, she's my Solution 9/Alexandria OC. And yes, she is in fact the local shard of Mael, my lizzer and WoL. And since Solution 9 has the whole Regulator business its a great opportunity for some wonderful storytelling.

Her basic lore backstory is that she's working as one of the hunters keeping the outskirts of Heritage Found safe and thus naturally uses a regulator. Between Lightningstrikes and wild beasts the risks of death are high and hunters also use it for simple soul fusion to enhance their fighting (so no full transformation like Arcadion). Unfortunately for her there is no Hydaelyn since Endwalker sending a crystal of light with images of a starshower attached so no echo for her. Also she used to have a partner, which is at the center of both torments!

Now unto the 2 possible torments that my brain has come up with!

Torment of Forgetting:

Imagine having a loving partner, half the room decorated in her style, her perfume in the bathroom, small trinkets from her in your outfit. This partner also wears a regulator ... and dies. And because both of you had a regulator the memory is erased. Gone. Nothing there anymore. The memory has been erased leaving only an emptiness and a feeling of something missing. And looking around her home everything makes this void sting harder. Decorations Jade would not buy but that still feel right in the room. Perfumes the smell of which she loves but wouldn't wear herself. Accessories that feel close to her heart but she cant remember. The typical Elidibus/Solution 9 package.

Torment of Remembering

Same relationship as the other torment, same loving partner dying ... but this time her regulator had been destroyed before it happened so she alone remembers her love. Friend groups her lover introduced her to suddenly missing the connection. In laws who don't even remember how you met. The entire world moving on and forgetting, leaving you all alone to grieve. Let's call it the Emet-Selch deal, to be the only one remembering and mourning.

Both of these sound like horrible torment to heave upon her. Yet both feel fitting, especially when I consider both the connection to Mael as Dotharl and her beliefs and the parallels with the two unsundered.

And both parts would lead her on a path towards working with and maybe even joining the resistance, yet also being reliant on the regulator for fighting and doing her job.

And not least of all the potential angst of meeting someone new and struggling with fears of also being forgotten.

[nobedofroses]

October 9th

pairing: Marcus Moreno x gn!reader

warnings: a bit of reconciliation, cookies

words: 1k

a/n: Prompt for today is Cast a Curse from this list by @raven-cincaide-words. Missy is probably like 8 in this, so younger than the movie btw

Directory, previous Marcus blurb, next Marcus blurb, Day 8

🎃🎃🎃

“Hey who’s that guy that was looking over here when I came in?” Rita, your best friend who was over for a dinner and movie night, asked as you were grabbing aprons from your hall closet. 

“Ugh, that’s my neighbor. His name is… something. I know his last name is Moreno, I don’t remember the rest,” you said, tossing her her apron and slipping yours over your head. “He’s an ass. The one who ruined my decorating plan.” 

“Oh you mean your insane need to be first in everything?” Rita asked with a smirk. 

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side, here,” you said with an exaggerated look. 

Rita put on a straight face and said, “Right, right. What other horrible things did he do?” 

You didn’t really have an answer to that so you busied yourself with filling a pot for pasta and answered when it was halfway full, “Well, he never introduced himself properly.” 

Rita gave you a look, “Then how did you forget his name?” 

Fuck, she had you there, “Okay, well, he has a kid and she’s nice and waves at me but he doesn’t.” 

“Oh yeah, that is kinda rude,” Rita said thoughtfully. “And, really, how dare he look like that.” You were glad to have a fresh idea to glom onto, “Yeah! Who does he think he is, watching me open my front door like my company is any of his business.” 

“Oh, that’s not what I meant,” Rita said. She took a sip of her wine, “I meant, how dare he look so good in just jeans and a t- shirt. Bet he looked like that and a little sweaty when you guys were decorating.” 

You ignored the shit eating grin on her face, “You’re not helping.”

“Helping what? You continue your denial that your issue is having a crush on this guy and being too scared to do anything about it?” She was grabbing some of the ingredients out of the fridge now and you were getting the cutting board and knife. “Do you want me to suggest something else? We could cast a curse on him. I could call my abuela.” 

“Put a pin in that, we’ll come back to it if necessary,” you said. “Let’s just get to cooking.”

Rita rolled her eyes but let you change the subject. 

An hour or so later, you were about twenty minutes into your movie, a horror movie for the season, when a knock sounded at your door. The two of you jumped and screamed in near perfect unison but came to your senses and realized it was probably not a slasher coming to get you. 

But possibly you still made Rita come to the door to answer it with you. The door swung open to reveal your neighbor and his daughter, Missy. You were surprised beyond belief and then Missy held up a tray of slightly misshapen and haphazardly decorated Halloween-themed sugar cookies. 

“Hi! We brought cookies! Do you have milk?” Missy said, no breaths between sentences. “Missy, manners. You need to introduce yourself first,” your neighbor said in sotto voce.

“Oh right, my name’s Missy and this is my dad, Marcus. What are your names?” Missy asked and you could tell by Marcus’ (thanks heaven for Missy saying his name first) expression that that wasn’t exactly what they had practiced. 

You and Rita introduced yourselves and then Rita told Missy, “You know, we do have milk. Why don’t you and I get some and serve up your cookies?” 

As Missy and Rita disappeared around the corner, you heard Missy say, “Do you both live here? My abuela said a pretty lady lives here and you’re both pretty—” 

You couldn’t help but look at Marcus with a bit of a smile. 

His face wasn’t far from a smile either, “She repeats things and she’s always listening. Can’t say anything secret around her.” 

“The cookies look fun. Are you guys really here for milk or did you come over to show off your work?” you asked, smiling more this time. 

“Oh, show off, totally. We’ve got a gallon of milk at home, but you know me, I’m nothing if not competitive,” he said, giving you a wry look, but his eyes were sparkling with laughter. 

You felt heat rise to your neck and cheeks and looked away before looking back, “Yeah, I’m still working on the friendly part of friendly competition. Or maybe that not everything needs to be a competition. Sorry for kinda blowing up at you. And thank you for your help.” 

Marcus seemed a little surprised at your admission, but shook his head and said, “No worries, just being neighborly and all. Maybe we can work together for future holidays so that way we’re both first.” 

You smiled, genuinely happy to hear that, “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.” 

Marcus and Missy could only stay over for so long since it was close to Missy’s bed time, but they left you with the rest of the tray of cookies because they had another at home. You promised to get the tray back to them before long since it was pumpkin themed so they’d surely want to continue using it in October. 

Missy had insisted that when you did come to bring it back that you stay over for a playdate so she could show you her collection of pink RC cars which were apparently her pride and joy. Rita made eyes at you over the top of Missy’s head, no doubt trying to convey some sort of joke about a “playdate” with Marcus. You shot her daggers but she just laughed and promised Missy for you that you’d absolutely love to see her collection. 

You ushered them out as quickly and politely as you could lest Rita have another chance to embarrass you. Marcus accidentally bumped into you as he walked by and turned back to put a big, warm hand on your shoulder in a quick apology that left you feeling flustered and a little weak kneed as you closed the door. 

“I need another cookie,” Rita said, expecting you to follow her into the kitchen, which you did. She grabbed a witch cookie with green skin and orange hair and bit her head off, speaking with her mouth full, “So you still wanna do that curse? Abuela’s still up with her bridge club.” 

You grabbed a pumpkin that was pink with hearts on it and pouted, “No, no curses. Not for Marcus.”

🎃🎃🎃

[issues-oclock]

Casino cups headcanons and general cuphead headcanons

Casino Cups takes place in 1933, the soul collecting crap took place 3 years earlier in 1930 when the cup bros were 15.

Mugman owns a few more guns than just the shotgun shown in his closet. 

Mugman occasionally goes out as Tallulah and has a group of friends who also enjoy cross dressing. 

Mugman has definitely dated and had crushes on quite a few people even if it was just for a short while. How do you think he realized he was bi?

Cuphead is the better at cooking out of the two brothers. Mugman could get to his brother's level if not better but he never really practices.

Cuphead isn’t very picky with food at all and will eat almost anything. Mugman is picky but will often just force the food down anyways.

Cuphead has great potential with instruments he’s just never tried because he thinks it would be too hard.

Paimon and Cuphead are great friends and bond over how they don’t like people bugging them about relationships. (I headcanon that Paimon is aro ace). Paimon also knows that Cuphead would be really good at playing instruments and keeps offering to teach him. Though Cuphead doesn’t really wanna learn. Though still Paimon nags him about it and knows that he’d be great at it. Which is a surprise to most others since Paimon is very picky about who she picks for her band (I headcanon she has a band who sometimes plays at the Casino or just in hell for money and for fun).

Her plan is to get Cuphead good at at least one or two instruments before she starts his other plan to nag the Devil about letting Cuphead work for her.

His camel isn’t a huge fan of Cuphead though (or anyone really).

The Inkwell Isles are in the Mediterranean Sea just somewhat west of Greece and used to be considered a part of it. 

The Inkwell Isles turned out a lot like America due to the Isles being seen as a good place for immigrants to start anew.

Every once in a while religious groups try to come to the Isles to convert the Isles and spread beliefs. They usually die to gangs or demons pretty fast.

Prohibition still happened on the Isles (this is confirmed by an image about the Tipsy Troops childhood) but it ended after only a few years and didn’t last till 1933 like how it did for America.

Speaking of the Tipsy Troop they had a horrible childhood. Their parents were poor and their mother nearly died having them (they’re triplets). The Troop nearly died a ton of times as children and were put into harsh work environments to make ends meet as children. The reason they keep to the sidelines of the casino is to avoid the risks of getting too involved with casino business despite having worked at the casino for a long while. Their parents died when the troop were around 13. 

Ginettes olive just kind of appeared there one day and she never questioned it. Sometimes she nibbles on between shifts.

Hocus Pocus only became an anthropomorphic rabbit due to an accident with a circus magician he used to work with. Said magician was also the one to teach Hocus most of his tricks and is Hocus’s main inspiration. That magician was like a father to Hocus and was the one to give Hocus the opening to escape the traveling freakshow. Hocus still misses that magician but madness is making him forget more.

Pip and Dot were sold to the freakshow by their parents who never wanted kids, Hocus was just a random talking rabbit the freakshow owners picked up off the street.

The 4th isle still exists but not many people live there and it's considered dangerous due to constant feuding between the Moonshine mob and other smaller gangs. Along with the fact that the island is mostly used for military training (aka The Howling Aces). The 4th isle also has a huge smuggling business with the Moonshine Mob making alcohol to ship to the other isles and other countries. 

Chef Saltbaker also made a deal with the Devil to be the best baker in the land. Then proceeded to steal the contract and burn it with some hell fire he got his hands on. His original wish was to have control of the astral plane but that type of thing is out of the Devil's power and even if he did have that power he would not give it to Chef Saltbaker. The Devil and Chef Saltbaker have a massive hatred of each other and Saltbaker stays on the 4th Isle to be away from the Devil.

Chef Saltbaker and Porkrind were friends a long time ago. Though once Saltbaker started studying powerful magic for nefarious reasons Porkrind split away from him and dislikes him. Though he still hopes that one day Saltbaker will give up on the astral plane crap and go back to the good person he used to be.

Esther Winchester and the Salon are located in a small town on Isle 4 in the desert. The only reason the Moonshine Mob haven’t been disbanded yet is because Esther only works in that area. She’s a very competent sheriff and great at cracking down on criminals.

On the other hand though the Ant cops are the opposite. They actually have deals with the Moonshine Mob and are pretty corrupt and incompetent. Another reason to not go to Isle 4. 

A lot of the members of Mortemer Freeze’s cult were created by Mortemer himself though he denies it. The more members the more imposing the cult seems. The ant cops are aware of how bad the cult is yet refuse to do anything about it due to being afraid.

The librarian owl hates his job

The reason that all the buildings look so cramped together on the isles is because of the high tides. Cala Maria and the large fish she has make huge waves when they swim around the Isles. Also the closer the Earth is to the moon and the fuller the moon the more the tides rise. When Hildaberg transforms into her moon form the tides get very messed up due to how close she is to the Earth even if she is in crescent shape. Go to the beach at your own risk. BrinyBeard is grateful to be alive.

Dr. Khal lives in the junkyard in the house and lab he made there. He lost his previous job due to concerns of him being insane and using lab materials for personal projects. Cuphead was right about Khal planning to use Mugman for some sort of experiment but Khal was waiting for the right moment. He waited too long though.

Pachinko is quiet not only because it's just part of his personality but he’s from Japan and isn’t good with the isles languages. Also he literally skates around the casino on those wheels he’s got. He’s fast and efficient and often zooms past fast enough that no one really gets to see him or talk to him. He also has a teensy crush on Mugman, just hasn’t realized it yet. 

Pirouletta is fully aware of Pachinko’s crush and actually introduced Pachinko to Mugman because if she didn’t Pachinko would be too shy to talk to him.

Baroness Von Bon Bons candy realm from the show is still here but the rules only apply to those who go in deep enough. That’s why the cup bros were able to eat some of the sweets from there without issue.

I have more but I'll type them out later

[kanazero-vampireknight2]

I think it's a popular belief that the reason Yuuki doesn't want Kaname to remember her is because he'll realize that he can somehow reincarnate her with her heart but I think a reason why Yuuki's fragment doesn't want Kaname to remember her is because by remembering Yuuki he'll also remember all the horrible things he's done for the sake of Yuuki. Takuma has pointed out the Kaname is still dealing with depression and I think when he realizes what he's done, it's only going to do him more harm. Kaname has always wanted to be helpful to others not just Yuuki, let's be real going back to his time as an ancestor he's always wanted to be apart of a community and that manifest more while he's a human I mean hell he enjoyed making tea and serving others in his little cafe 🤣 imagine if he remembers Yuuki and remembers all the horrible things he's done for her? I mean, how can he look Ren in the eyes when he realizes that he turned a child soilder into his personal weapon? And it doesn't help that Ren has Zero's colour pallete. I also think that by remembering Yuuki he'll remember his time as an ancestor due to that weird time paradox that he and Yuuki created when he showed her his past which is going to make him worse. I beleive that it was during Shiuka's arc where Kaname mentions that sometimes it's good to forget things and I think that Yuuki has understand that and she's doing to him what he did to her from when she was human. Also sorry about the vampire knight fandom, I don't know specifically what's going on but knowing that they have not changed over the last almost 10+ years I know it's just a bunch of Tom foolery.

Yes, Yuuki doesn’t want him to remember the bad things, although the present Kaname is sensing that something might have happened.

Yes, depression is still there, even when the memories are erased, so bringing them back would make things worse.

He is a helpful guy indeed!

I don’t think he would be able to look Ren in the eyes after that…

Tbh remembering too much at once, for example the ancestor timeline would destroy him.

It’s alright, I mean I’m pretty annoyed by people who defend or glorify one ship but hate on the other. I thought I stumbled upon some decent people in here but turns out I was wrong.

Thank you for the anon!

[agonycrossbow]

Leon, in the intro to RE4make:

"September 30, 1998. It's a day I'll never forget. The cop inside me died that day."

---

Officer 1: So, tell me, Yanqui. Why did you come to this horrible place? As close to nowhere as I've ever seen.

Leon: Let's just say... looking for someone.

Officer 1: That someone must be very important, eh? The Chief gave the orders himself. "Help him," he said.

Leon: I'm sure you boys didn't come all the way out here to roast marshmallows.

Officers 1 & 2: (laugh)

Leon: (annoyed) Maybe you did.

Officer 1: You have a strange sense of humor. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Just between us. A lot of people have gone missing around here, and it's been that way for a while, now.

Leon: (still annoyed) Well, then. Should be just another day in the office, right?

Officer 1: Mmm... I mean, last week, there was a search for some missing hikers.

Leon: (sarcastically) I'm sure you'll do your best to help me.

Officer 1: (laughs)

[...]

Leon, much later in the scene: So much for helping me.

---

Leon, later in chapter 1:

(bitterly) "Gotta fix everything myself."

---

Leon tells Ada in RE2make that the reason why he went into law enforcement was to help people like Kendo and his daughter -- vulnerable people, good people, members of the community who are facing the worst moments of their life and need someone to help make it right.

And yet he says in the intro to RE4make that the cop inside him died that day. When we take that in context with what he told Ada about Kendo, what he means is that his desire to help people died that day. The belief that he could help people died that day.

His faith in humanity died that day.

Leon goes into his mission to save Ashley already expecting the two local officers that he's with to be completely fucking useless, and he gets immediately annoyed at the first hint that they are. His "So much for helping me" is said with a sense of "Why am I not surprised?"

He went into RE2make believing that people are generally good and that things will work themselves out.

He goes into RE4make believing that people are generally selfish and will take advantage of him, leaving him to work through any problem that arises on his own.

This is why he's so supremely pissed off at Ada when they meet back up again, and it's also why Ashley is so integral to his character arc. It's also why I've said in the past that Ada is a foil for Ashley in RE4make.

(NOTE: A foil is a character that is set up in the narrative to directly contrast with another one. Where one character is deficient, the foil character is strong, and vice versa. Where Ada is cold, Ashley is warm. Where Ada is physically capable, Ashley is defenseless. Where Ada is secretive, Ashley is honest. Where Ada is calculating, Ashley is impulsive. A foil does not necessarily exist to make one character seem better than the other; a foil exists to showcase two equals using a different approach and receiving different outcomes as a result.)

Ada is the genesis of Leon's cynicism. She's the reason why he expects less than nothing from people anymore -- the reason why he goes into every social interaction waiting to be screwed over. And she reinforces this throughout the narrative by trying to tear him down ("Leave the girl. She's lost no matter what.") or by keeping score ("Happy to help. Now you owe me.") -- which she takes even further in Separate Ways ("Don't worry, Leon. First time's free.").

In the six years since her initial betrayal, Leon has been forged into a weapon by the US government. The kind-hearted boy from RE2make who wanted to save the world now is more comfortable shoving a knife in the throat of an old woman than he is with carrying on small talk with people.

But weapons on their own are neither good nor bad. It's how they're used that determines that. Up until RE4make, Leon has been surrounded by extreme violence and senseless death (that's the point of changing Operation Javier btw), and he doesn't see a way in which his status as a weapon could possibly be used for good.

Until Ashley comes into his life.

If there was ever anyone who had a good reason to take Leon for granted and take advantage of him, it's Ashley -- but not only does she not do that, but she goes out of her way to make herself useful without expectation or strings attached. The only thing she ever asks for in return is a "thank you."

So, every time she gets that "thank you" -- every time she gets a real smile out of him -- she's returning pieces of his humanity to him. She's healing the hurts that Ada and the CIA inflicted on him so many years ago. She's showing him that there's still some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for. She's worth fighting for.

When Leon says: "This time, it has to be different..." he's not talking about his inability to save anyone in Raccoon City. That's a very surface-level interpretation. What he's referring to there is that Raccoon City destroyed his faith in humanity, ruined his image of himself, and poisoned his ability to create meaningful connections with people.

That's what has to be different this time. That's why the full line he says in the intro is: "If I could just forget what happened that night... the pain, even for a second... This time, it can be different. It has to."

RE2make took so much from him, but Ashley spent the entirety of RE4make giving so much of it back. But if she were to die in his arms in chapter 15, that hope and that healing would die with her. Her death would be a reaffirmation that everything that Leon wants or hopes for in this world isn't real, and that reality is nothing more than a series of random tragedies and chaos that results in suffering.

Ashley re-teaches him how to trust in people again, how to work as part of a team again, how to feel good about his own actions again. She teaches him how to hope again.

Ashley is the first person in six years to care about whether Leon gets or feels hurt by her actions. The most important line of dialogue spoken to Leon in the entire game is "Stay back! I might hurt you again..." as Ashley openly sobs over the mere thought of it.

Juxtapose that beside...

During the boat scene, Ada asks Leon in response to whether or not she's changed, after all of the damage she's already inflicted on him: "What do you think? Don't think too hard."

And so, in the ending, Leon answers: "I think we both know that this is where we go our separate ways."

Because, this time, things were different.

Because, this time, his partner was Ashley.

[2004angels]

Rant about cptsd

cptsd has ruined my life brah. I want to live. I want to live without the constant torture of my own brain. There’s nothing more I wish for than to be released from the captivity of the never ending punishment I jail myself to. Just because it’s what feels the safest. To torture myself? Just so that an imagined version of a person of my past will be satisfied? It’s ridiculous. How can I still, 6 years later, at 19 years old, STILL feel an undying need to make sure she knows I’ll let her ruin me just to prove my love for her.

We don’t know each other anymore. I don’t even fear her anymore. All I have left to fear is my own head. My own psyche. What’s left of that time. I don’t fear her. I fear what she has done to me, what she and my own psyche has done to me. What this illness has accomplished.

I trust nothing no more. Not even myself. It’s not even people I don’t trust. It’s my reality. I know my friends wouldn’t do horrible things to me. They probably wouldn’t reject me if I asked for something. But in the reality I live in inside my head, they always do and they always will.

They do not want to visit me. They only came to my graduation because they felt forced to. They only spend time with me because they feel bad.

Yet I know they probably mean the sweet things they tell me when I’m hurting. But my head forgets. I forget. Because while it means the world to me the fear is so great, all too great. I don’t feel safe enough yet.

I just want to feel safe. I just want to feel protected again. Whole again. Certain, that what I’m living is real, consistent, solid.

I know I’m not different. I know there’s nothing wrong with me that makes me different from other people. I’m just like everyone else.

My emotions matter and my needs do to. My friends care about my emotions and my needs. They want to see me happy, they want me well.

Do my emotions and needs matter to me though? Do I care?

Sure, I do. But I fear that if I do then something bad will happen. If I choose to say no, something bad will happen.

She will get hurt.

She will hurt herself.

I thought I was over that.

I thought I conquered that that same day it happened.

I guess the armour isn’t as strong as the heart.

If I do what I want, you will hurt yourself and say I am the devil reincarnated.

If I say no, you will punish me for it.

I often say to myself that you were just 13 and I shouldn’t blame you for it.

That sure it was bad because I was 12.

And today I still won’t say it. But today the 12 year old me will tell you to go to hell. That doing such a thing is an awful awful thing to do. I’m happy we stopped being friends. I’m happy I left you. I should have left you. That was the absolute right thing to do.

Not because you didn’t deserve the love I gave you, but because I deserved better than how you were treating me. And you didn’t change.

So for both of us, but mainly for myself, I had to leave.

None of the things you did were okay.

I deserved nothing of it.

Neither did you.

Neither of us did.

But still, you never had the right to hurt me like that. Make me feel like that. Twist my head like that. Restrict me like that.

I know that you are no longer what restricts me today. I can’t blame you anymore. It won’t do anything. It won’t help with anything. It won’t heal anything. It will just like up into a ball of resentment. Something I don’t want.

Instead of focusing on you I will give all my time and energy to heal what’s damaged and regain my own power. Regain my security. Regain my trust. Regain myself.

There are so many things I believe today that I have to rework, it will take time, lots of time, and it will be hard. I will probably want to give up, and give in to the belief I deserve the pain and terror, but I will do whatever it takes to heal, I will fight it, no matter how hopeless it may feel. Because there is always hope.

I will not succumb to fear.

(omori reference bc I love that game and it has meant so much for my journey of healing my cptsd)

[columbocorners]

I haven't done any art of otto but honest to god I feel like so much of otto's angsty behavior I really have chalked up to being normal for me because I have so many weird ocs who have trauma on the basis of horrible shit they can't comprehend happening to them. so this ramble is about that.

one of my ocs, mr. forget-me-nots' whole trauma is on the basis of pure abandonment by his family when he was 18 years old and expectation to run a horrible drug operation long after his mother, the sole owner, passes, and how does he even cope? by doing it. because he wanted any approval from his mother even after she was dead and buried, by hands which he embalmed, and he is so caught up in the world of the dead and the past which he is completely shook by to even understand why he mourns the way he does, because he's so stuck in anger he never truly got to express.

and for another character, their whole identity is chalked up to ' you are an essential copy of another man's legacy and mistake ( in this case, a mistake interpreted as a GOOD thing, mind you ) and told he can't be anyone else other than that person's legacy, that personification, and has to abide by that law, because that's all he is, all he will ever be, and he is told to kill anything personal ( his own childhood crush and lover ) just to extract any idea or possibility he could even be human.

and then I look at otto and all his actions just. make perfect sense to me because he is SO traumatized. by someone who he was potentially close to being taken by something and the idea noone suggested cece ( cici ? ) wanted that, is horrible in execution because has anyone ever considered that maybe cece is his only family? that maybe even their parents weren't that good? there is enough there were you could make the assumption they even hated each other as siblings, but by god with the way otto acts I can't imagine anything else beyond purely a good sibling dynamic or just the pain that is of losing someone, knowing they are in reach, but you're incapable of even getting there, and maybe to some extent it is because of WHO you are, and in that same sense there is a fear that because of how OTTO is, that could even be why she was gone which is why I have been doing nothing but rotting on otto being just such a misguidedly good person who does such horrible things because he is absolutely a bad therapist but you know it is because not only is he attached to noone, it's just the fact she's the one thing that could tell him why cece was taken which is why he's so frantic. noone doesn't respect him and I can't blame her, but I also think it's the little things, the breathing techniques, the attempts to try and make genuine connections, he's in so much denial though that is he so selfish with his own wants that he can't abide by noone's own but you know, that's the thing with someone who is as traumatized as otto is, how could he not be like that? how could he not be as aggressive and outrageously selfish as he is? it does not at all justify the behavior, especially towards a CHILD, mind you. However, it's still the point and clear fact that like or not, he has a complex care for noone and his patients, he doesn't like referring to children by numbers, he tries to ensure noone is given opportunities and chances to get cake, to have gifts. It is so unprofessional as it is a weak attempt to try and do better because he knows he's fucked up, but he's so disorientated in the belief that he can at least fix the one thing that BROKE him in the first place all these years, like. I get that honestly. as someone who has been abused, who has gone through more than the average person, I get not letting go of the past and the refusal not to, the denial, the bitterness about it all, the grief, because as much as you are moving forward, you can't help but look back and for me, that's what otto does so much in the podcast.

he can't help but be caught up in that incident because he was just a boy who lost his sister and was told by someone else that yeah, she could've left because of how he was, but then it's like, that is a majorly fucked up thing to say to someone, actually, he is being so shitty as he is, but he didn't deserve to be told that to me, because from how I see it, otto is alone. he's got nothing to cling to but someone who is already gone, and it's like. he lost his way because he got relapsed by trauma from the past that came to haunt him by literally noone experiencing the same thing his own sister was.

and I feel like by the end of it, he's just going to go down a hole he can't climb out of ( well, he's already dug himself so far as he did ) and it's like. on god, you couldn't exactly blame him for being mad at the ferryman either because it's like. in his eyes, that was the thing that took away a family member, someone he cared about. and if there is one thing I hate, it's like that so many people are forgetful of what makes up otto which is the trauma. like yes, he's done so much that is so shitty, but I'm not gonna' have that be like the only thing I will see about that character because he's really layered to me, I love noone, and I genuinely get why she's upset at otto, honestly I am too, but on god, I love seeing the trauma within characters and how that, for otto, never went away even through adulthood because trauma doesn't. you don't get rid of that, there is no healing some wounds, they just linger and they burn, and they will eat at you if you LET them.

and otto has. I've got like multiple headcanons about otto honestly that I could go into, because honestly he gives off divorced energy to me and that means lack of understanding and difficulty with some social cues reads to me as adhd in my eyes and I have adhd so I'm making that a big hc so it's like. broooo I could go on for hours.

[inferniso]

✢⁎. headcanons

disclaimer this is a Lot and like half of it ain’t coherent:

first and foremost, idunn is being taken shortly after the good ending of fe6 (think a few months after that last cutscene). this lands her in a spot that’s slightly more developed/healed than what we see at the end of the game, but a long ways off from ascended! idunn. that alt is pretty clearly meant to be a longshot future where she can smile and laugh just by seeing you on the homescreen. my idunn is... getting there. so i reference bits and pieces of what it shows us, depending on what i feel is appropriate.

speak of ascended! idunn! her appearance. or more specifically, her dragon form. it can be inferred from the fact that she was once a divine dragon that idunn used to bear more of a resemblance to fae in this form, and the special art of ascended! idunn supports this with its “chicken” wings and feathered tail-tip. however, it also has one scaled wing, and the base of her tail is black and more similar to the demon dragon form (plus her head is the same). thus it is my personal hc that after having her soul restored and her personality slowly grow inside her, idunn’s dragon form changes to reflect this--gradually reverting back to that of the divine style. right now it’s an amalgamation of a demon dragon head, tail-base, and lower/back-left wing, while the main body + limbs, other three wings, and tail-tip comprise her divine parts. 

she’s a character who has internalized both she/her and it/its pronouns, and will respond to either. generally, i’ll use it/its when referring to idunn’s past as the dark priestess and at times where she feels particularly alienated, and she/her otherwise. your muses are free to interpret and use these pronouns however they wish.

i hate the possessed villain trope, alright. i think robbing a character of guilt and remorse stunts their growth, and part of learning to accept herself must include dealing with the fact that idunn’s actions have permanent consequences. i do believe that people--especially innocent families harmed by idunn’s dragons across elibe--do not forgive her for all that she’s done, and to some extend she struggles with this too. idunn is fortunate enough to have really good support systems in fae and the other arcadians, but it will take some time before she isn’t fearful of her own self.

i also write her as holding onto the belief that she is going to lead the world and bring it peace. it never goes away after she becomes herself again, much like her desire to do something that would make the zephiel who rescued her happy.

her presence is a large one and can easily be detected by the magically adept/other dragons who have the ability to do so.

i welcome any and all legendary weapon headcanons! idunn sort of sees the events of fe6 through the lens of a really horrible dream, and so she regards those who fought her in the final map in the same way as the eight legends of elibe. the baseline instinct for this is fear, of course, for their power and that of the weapons, but she tries to see the good qualities of the eight and apply them to their successors in any way she can. if you want your muse to have used one of the weapons against her, just let me know and maybe look it over with any current roy muns.

she still has the power to summon war dragons, but doing so makes her lose control of her soul, so she tries to avoid it if possible. there may, potentially be a dire scenario in which she must in order to protect someone she cares about, but she’d need to be in the presence of someone she knows could bring her back if she chooses to do so. 

in terms of toa-specific headcanons, i think that in line with forgetting much of her previous personality and the concept of like, everything, idunn is only just learning to read. it’s been thousands of years since she was herself so even if she could have read at some point, the language she knows is considered ancient. she’s gotten a good start in arcadia, but is hoping to learn more at the academy!

she loves music! not surprising considering her admiration for nature and simpler things, but i like the idea that dragons are particularly enthralled by it. the flute is her instrument of choice, and if she picks up lessons at the academy it’d be for that.

and finally, though i don’t foresee myself really ever getting into shipping with idunn, she currently has no understanding of romantic love and just barely one of familial/platonic love. if she ever does catch feelings for someone, it’d be after a long healing process learning how to catch feelings.

[erigold13261]

Assuming 1010 stay with their SOs for years… what would they do if their SOs pass away? (I am guessing 1010 as robots would live longer than their SOs)

Short answer is:

-Rin: Never tries to love again and hold their relationship with Zuke in a very high regard. This feeling stops it from every trying to form another romantic relationship again.

-Purl: Already accepted that their partners are going to die before they have actually died. Once they do, they bottle up all their emotions and try to move on as if nothing happened only to break down in horrible, extreme ways all alone. Uses bad coping mechanisms like drugs and sex to forget the love they once had while rejecting any kind of meaningful relationship to avoid this pain again.

-Zimelu: Takes a long time to grieve and needs basically a decade before being open to the idea of dating again. Not going out of her way to date, but by that point if something happens she won't try to stop herself from loving again.

-Haym: Bottles up his emotions in order to help his partners. Wants to feel helpful as a way to lessen the pain they feel. Is open to dating again at some point. Probably the fasted to get into a new relationship (other than Purl whose new "relationship" are all basically one night stands).

-Eloni: Ends up pulling away from the partners they have to get more familial support. Doesn't even realize he is neglecting his partner because of the pain he is in. The family helps both him and his partner(s). Either ends up going back to their partner, or is able to get into a new relationship, but it will take a while.

Long answer:

Well right off the bat, I'm gonna say that Purl is the only 1010 that has actually thought of this and put time into this thought process. They are the only one to really take it seriously that 1010 is most likely going to outlive their SOs, which is why Purl was the last to even get a SO because their main belief is basically "why even try to love when they are going to die and the pain will be worse in the end?" or something along those lines.

So Purl is already preparing themself for when everyone around them, not just their SOs, ends up dying. Once West or Cyril pass (even Joust which is a complicated relationship that Purl has with him), Purl is probably just going to shut down emotionally, bottle up their emotions, and just push forward in a very unhealthy way. Their main coping mechanism is just to run away from their feelings, so to an outsider it looks like Purl never even cared about their SO and just moved on. On the inside though they are in so much pain but refuse to ever let it out until they probably can't hold it in anymore. Even then they will just have an absolute breakdown in their room and then hide that away until they can't hold it in again later on.

Plus, while all of this is going on, they would still be doing self destructive behaviours. Especially using substances or basically giving their body away to strangers. Honestly, they would become more of a whore after this to try and forget about their relationship as much as they can. Though obviously trying to avoid any kind of real connection with whoever they are sleeping with.

All the rest of 1010 either haven't thought of death as a possibility, or have been trying to push the thought away to not think about it at all. I would say that Rin and Eloni are the ones to push it away as much as possible as the two of them are very much anxious in their own ways about death and the end.

Rin, if its SO died (whether it be Zuke or anyone else it falls in love with, same with the other 1010s, they might not all be with their current SOs in like 20 years), then it would be devastated. Considering that Rin is a very romance heavy bot, and puts a LOT of emphasis on basically "true love" or like finding "the one" that I can see it never fully getting over Zuke or dating again. I'm sure Rin could find someone to love just as much, but its not really open to that idea. Basically I can see it becoming like Neon J, where that love of a past relationship will always be at the forefront and never truly go away (though obviously Rin and Zuke's relationship is much different from J and Martha's).

Zimelu, Haym, and Eloni are all three that are similar in their aftermaths where I can see each of them going through a time of mourning and then some day trying to date again. Especially Haym and Eloni because them being poly potentially allows them to have another partner that will share in their grief and help them get over/come to terms the loss of their SOs in a way that friends and family cannot. It would be easier (still difficult though) for them to move on and try to find someone new.

Zimelu I can see as, like I said, taking a very long time to process her grief, but she does end up getting with someone new. Probably a very long time after the death of her SO though. Depending on how long 1010 actually can survive given how I am thinking of magic works for robots, then possibly a decade or so after Zimelu's SO dies would she be willing to try again. And even then, she wouldn't be looking for a new love like Haym and Eloni might, she would have to have it be very natural.

Haym and Eloni keep their loves in their heart, but also help their other partners (or I guess in Haym's case, he would be helping Eve if he is still in a relationship with her and May, and May was the one who died since technically he and Eve are not dating). In the case of Haym and Eve, the two would stop dating but would remain friends and help each other process stuff. If it was a different group of people for Haym, depending if he was dating the other person(s) or not means he either leans into them more or will try to just help them out in their grief. Honestly, Haym probably bottles his emotions up a lot and does more to help his other partners while ignoring his own feelings, trying to feel helpful as a coping mechanism for his loss.

Eloni on the other hand isn't going to find a partner quickly. First, because it is hard for them to find someone wanting a QPR, secondly, because they would be in a lot of pain and probably a crying mess. Very over emotional and not knowing how to really deal with this. Unfortunately, I kinda see her as drawing away from their other partner(s) and clinging to family during this time. This would leave his partner(s) in a bit of isolation, but the rest of 1010 (and possibly Neon if he is still around) would do their best to help both Eloni and his partner(s).

Not doing Dew, Carna, or Maragold because 1). they are all minors and I haven't thought of them in any serious relationship as they get older yet, and 2). they are technically not part of 1010 which is what you asked for.